I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
