then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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