He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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