Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
they need to just BURY HIM!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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