A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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