i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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