She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
