I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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