the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize