she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
