Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ugly people sure do ruin things
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
