You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
