Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
