There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
