ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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