When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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