Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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