ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
