We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
