I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
