My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
