Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize