Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
