im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
