i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize