It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
