Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize