At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
