I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She bit a glass in half.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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