Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
