Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
