I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
