he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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