i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
