watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
