I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
