Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
