I think my fart just growled at me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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