It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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