I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
