I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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