Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
