Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
