I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
