I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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