saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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