i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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