I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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