THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
