This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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