I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
