i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
