before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
