Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
