your thong is hanging out like whoa
We're facebook friends in real life
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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