Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
