Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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