you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
