I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize