Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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