Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
