A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
