i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
