there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
