I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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