how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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