I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
