How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
