Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
