$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
