It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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